Abandoned by My Friends

Ps. 38:23-24

What’s often worse than our private painful problems, illnesses and heartaches - is that we feel, and sometimes are,  alone.

The human need for solidarity and support is critical to our survival and too often, and for many of us, right now, there is more discord and distance between people - than the deeply needed sense of protection and care.

These past months have seen enmity spill beyond the battlefield and terror zones into many homes and hearts, schools and screens.

For the poet of today’s psalm, deep inside his personal pains of the body, the betrayal of friends seems even worse.

PSLAM 38 starts with a long list of medical conditions including sores, wounds, and a bent back from all the weight of guilt and suffering.

For the poet, as for many still today, there is a direct link between one’s dubious behaviors and the consequences of suffering - as punishment by some external force.  

Robert Alter explains that

“In most of the Bible, as elsewhere in the ancient Near East, illness was understood to be a punishment by the deity, presumably for some transgression, whether deliberate or unwitting. This psalm goes on to evoke the physical symptoms--festering sores, inward burning, numbness, bodily contortion, dizziness--as well as the social rejection that accompanies the illness.”

When it comes to the theology of suffering -- whether we blame the gods or not,  many of us do, in some way, blame some past behavior for our various illnesses. While divine punishment for sins does not resonate for many of us as a compelling notion, it is sometimes accurate to recognize that ways with which we’ve acted or abused our bodies have impacts that demand our responsible change of behavior.  Rather than blame we need to take better care and know that sometimes suffering is way beyond our control.

It’s what Alter mentions at the end of his comment that seems to me the most challenging these days.

Not just the ways we handle physical suffering - but what happens to us, body and soul, when our relationships fail to offer us support:

אֹֽהֲבַ֨י ׀ וְרֵעַ֗י מִנֶּ֣גֶד נִגְעִ֣י יַעֲמֹ֑דוּ וּ֝קְרוֹבַ֗י מֵרָחֹ֥ק עָמָֽדוּ׃ וַיְנַקְשׁ֤וּ ׀ מְבַקְשֵׁ֬י נַפְשִׁ֗י וְדֹרְשֵׁ֣י רָ֭עָתִי דִּבְּר֣וּ הַוּ֑וֹת וּ֝מִרְמ֗וֹת כׇּל־הַיּ֥וֹם יֶהְגּֽוּ׃

“My friends and companions stand back from my affliction;

my kin stand far off.

Those who seek my life lay traps;

those who wish me harm speak malice;

they utter deceit all the time.”

Ps. 38:23-24

Social isolation is what often hurts the most. 

These recent months have caused many ruptures between families and friends, divided over political and ideological struggles, indifference or what seems like lack of empathy. 

For too many, mourning and wounded, the best way to heal is to be held by the respect and love of others, to be seen, to be hugged, not to be alone.  But tragically, empathy is exactly what’s so lacking in our increasingly divisive realities.

For the poet, faith in the divine can offer this needed hug as a way to deal with the indifference of some and the hostility of others. But for those for whom faith is not a solid stand?

The psalm ends with a plea for help. 

Perhaps it’s also a reminder for each one of us, who at some point in life find themselves struggling - to remember to reach out for help, from each other, and from those in whom we trust. Perhaps, if it’s helpful. to ask for help from beyond, from within, from whatever is in charge.

And perhaps it’s another reminder to keep showing up- so many of us are holding on to sores and wounds not always visible, including major mental health stress. We all need each other’s active help.

Can we each be more present, and when we can - reach out to others, be better friends, witnesses and healers, one band-aid, message or hug at a time?

Below the Bible Belt: 929 chapters, 42 months, daily reflections.

Become a free or paid subscriber and join Rabbi Amichai’s 3+ years interactive online quest to question, queer + re-read between the lines of the entire Hebrew Bible. Enjoy daily posts, weekly videos and monthly learning sessions. 2022-2025.

Psalms #PSLAMS #Psalm38 #ספרתהילים #תהילים #BookofPsalms #כתובים #tehilim #Ketuvim #Hebrewbible  #Tanach #929  #labshul #belowthebiblebelt929 #rabbijonathansacks #graceaftermeals #religiousprotest 

#isolatoin  #loneliness #betrayl #schism #canwebetter friends?  #stopthesuffering #humanity #solidarity #exisentialquestions  #choosekindness  #mentalhealth  #neverlosehope #endthewar #stoptheviolence #peace #prayforpeace #nomorewar #hope #everywhere #peaceispossible