Attitude of Gratitude: Wisdom's Tips for Life

Gratitude is an attitude, a state of mind, a deeper way of being in the world despite whatever circumstances. It’s not a simple task. Like hope, gratitude is a muscle that needs constant care, and reminders are helpful.

That’s where Wisdom comes in with Her timeless tips that made it into this strange book of the Hebrew Bible known as Misheli - or Proverbs.

Today I thank the ancestral wisdom - the many generations that have generated and protected this treasure of wise words that go back 3,000 years. Half way through this book on our Below the Bible Belt Journey - and before we get to Job - here is one more helpful life lesson that transcends time and place - plucked out of these Proverbial pages, stands out as more meaningful right now - it is also problematic.

This has to do with a noble human project of pursuing a good life.

What will be both beneficial to oneself and to the world around us?

Chapter 18 includes this suggestion, clearly meant for males, but we will de-gender it and go deeper to find meaning it for all of us:

מָצָ֣א אִ֭שָּׁה מָ֣צָא ט֑וֹב וַיָּ֥פֶק רָ֝צ֗וֹן מֵיְהֹוָֽה׃

He who finds a wife has found happiness

And has won divine goodwill.

Prv. 18:22

Not all married couples will agree, nor does this proverb land gently on those among us, who have not found their match - of any gender, for any reason. The heteronormative tone here is a given - marriage between a man and a woman is the classical old family values - though not the only one - that the biblical authors knew about. And since it wasn’t about love but about societal duty and procreation - you were either lucky in love, or not. So what can be done with this bit of wisdom to apply to all of us today?

A Talmudic question, in response to this verse, went deeper into it, and gives us a hint to what more we can make of this archaic advise.

The Babylonian Talmud quotes this 1,700 year old conversation:

“Whoever finds a wife finds good, and obtains God’s goodwill” (Proverbs 18:22). In the West, when a man married a woman they would ask him afterwards: Matza or motze?”

In the old days, they tell us, people in the west - that is, Israel, since this text was written in what is today’s Iraq -- would ask a new husband what he thought of his new bride by using two quotes from biblical verses. To indicate a good match, they asked just one word matza, quoting the first words of Proverbs 19: 22, “whoever finds [matza] a wife finds good. To indicate a bad match they used the one word from another verse, motze, as it is written: “And I find [motze] more bitter than death the woman” (Ecclesiastes 7:26).״

Babylonian Talmud, Tractate Yevamot 63b

Matza or Motze could be offensive locker room talk about women - even if that’s not the intention -- but they can also be code for how to live in and look at the world. There’s much we can’t choose - but how to respond to what’s happening - is often our choice.

Positive or Negative attitude? Focused on the blessing of life or the bitter bits? Will you leave or love?

Wherever and however each of us shows up in the world today, in relative comfort and health, lucky in love, safe from harm and violence, or even if we are in the eye of a storm - can we remember Wisdom’s words to focus on the attitude of gratitude, look for the blessing and the good in every situation and raise up goodwill and kindness as best we can, however we are, anywhere we go? Food for thought into Shabbat.

Wishing us all kind days, better news, resilience and hope, healing and peace, and the choice to choose an attitude of gratitude, all day long.

Thank you for joining me below the bible belt. Shabbat Shalom.