Where does the guilt go? When and where and how can we honestly raise the wrongs we have inherited and committed and transform them into repair and reparations?
Tomorrow night we enter the Day of Atonement, Yom Kippur. We begin by declaring ‘We are permitted to pray with all those of us who have committed crimes.”
And who knows what are the hidden wrongs that we each bring as we gather?
For most Jews these days, and many who live with them, this holy day still offers a sacred time and place, a chance to gather and atone for a year’s worth of wrongdoings. There are multiple ways in which these rituals are practiced, from the most traditional to the most secular, but somehow, this notion of a moment in time in which forgiveness is possible remains real in our modern lives.
Yom Kippur becomes, when activated, both a physical and metaphysical experience - existing in space and time, internal and external, a holy day, and a place of refuge. It is where we come to so that we can begin again. But can everybody be forgiven? For any sort of crime, even if regret and promise of repair is sincerely offered? Is there really a safe space among us for the ones we know are guilty of taking another life on purpose - be that killing or other ways in which lives are reduced to shame, indignity or worse?
Echoes of longing for such safe spaces of renewal are found in today’s chapter of the Book of Words. Chapter 19 lists more regulations about the refuge cities, where those who have killed another human by accident may find shelter from rage and revenge. This isn’t the first or last time we encounter these instructions. We reflected on their role in our lives, then and now, back in the wilderness, here.
And it’ll show up one more time. By the time Moses is delivering these words it has already been revealed that his replacement will be Joshua. Not a prophet but a military leader, able to handle the conquest of the land. There is only one occurrence (we’ll get there in November) when the readers are told that Joshua, like Moses, speaks directly for YHWH. That will also be about the construction of cities of refuge.
Why are these so important? What in today’s chapter is uniquely adding to our knowledge about the meaning of this concept?
Perhaps the most important different factor in this chapter is that there is no time limit for staying in the city of refuge. In the previous chapters the death of the reigning High Priest resets the rules and the gates are open - all are assumed forgiven and released. In this chapter - one can stay in the city of refuge - for life. Other differences detailed here include the notion that some blood is innocent and some is not. Those guilty of pre-mediated murder get a trial in this chapter - those known to be innocent - do not.
It seems that there is extra care here to prevent the spilling of human blood:
וְלֹ֤א יִשָּׁפֵךְ֙ דָּ֣ם נָקִ֔י בְּקֶ֣רֶב אַרְצְךָ֔ אֲשֶׁר֙ יְהֹוָ֣ה אֱלֹהֶ֔יךָ נֹתֵ֥ן לְךָ֖ נַחֲלָ֑ה וְהָיָ֥ה עָלֶ֖יךָ דָּמִֽים׃
“The blood of the innocent will not be shed, bringing bloodguilt upon you in the land that your God is allotting to you.”
To prevent further bloodshed by the avenging relaties, this chapter goes further to ensure that justice and law is extended and pursued. More practical than magical, it seems that this chapter offers an evolution of the previous mentions, slowly graduating to a more nuanced judicial system, requiring witnesses and evidence, beyond the primal tribal passions that once predominated.
What is ‘innocent blood’ anyway? When a mass shooter is killed or kills himself to prevent further killing, or solider, or terrorist, in the name of any cause? While on the one hand it is inspiring to read this chapter and know that our ancestors did what they could to honor human life and prevent bloodshed - on the other bloody hand - this chapter is among so many calling out for execution of suspected idol worshippers or the annihilation of native locals, who clearly are not guilty of any crime but their mere being. How many wars are waged, how much blood spills today - in my name?
Yom Kippur becomes our City of Refuge these days - for the internal guilt we carry, both new and old. It is limited by time and space, and it can be a private and public opportunity for true reckoning and accountability, responsibility and perhaps even release and redemption. Not that it happens over night. But it can be a beginning.
What blood am I responsible for, directly or indirectly?
How can I and we - atone? I quote here the words I wrote back in the Book of Wilderness, inviting us to enter the Temple of Refuge, on this sacred day:
“Perhaps these are days for each of us to find our inner city of refuge, taking responsibility for harms done, hurts, even if in error, that we’ve committed, and begin the journey of repair. How can we be each other’s cities of refuge?”
G’mar Chatima Tova. May we be signed and sealed in this year’s Book of Life.
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How fitting we read about Cities of Refuge this day before Yom Kippur!