Face to Face is our Moral Obligation
Prv. 27:17
“It’s not the sea that is between us
It’s not the abyss that is between us
It’s not the time that is between us
It’s us that are what is between us.”
Lea Goldberg (English: A.Lau-Lavie)
What can dialogue and even debate look like if we choose to see each other’s otherness with dignity and respect, despite deep differences, all created equally in divine design?
Wisdom wants us to see each other’s face as sacred and to lift up life’s invitation to love each other even when it gets to feel like a fight.
Two famous verses from today’s chapter set the tone for a culture of conflict that insists on respect and on seeing each other - face to face:
בַּרְזֶ֣ל בְּבַרְזֶ֣ל יָ֑חַד וְ֝אִ֗ישׁ יַ֣חַד פְּנֵֽי־רֵעֵֽהוּ׃
כַּ֭מַּיִם הַפָּנִ֣ים לַפָּנִ֑ים כֵּ֤ן לֵֽב־הָ֝אָדָ֗ם לָאָדָֽם׃
As iron sharpens iron
So a person sharpens the wit of their friend.
As the face reflects a face in water,
So does one’s heart - human to human.
Prv. 27:17
This ancient wisdom feels like a quiet rebellion against the cacophony of polarization that defines our times.
The clash of iron sword becomes not combat but what happens when we sharpen our kitchen knives to be the sharpest possible so we can have a feast. And even as we spar with vastly different opinions, as one does in duels - how do we use these disagreements towards growth, transformation and ultimately - friendship and peace?
Amid political chaos, climate crises, and cultural divides, these verses invite us to pause and consider:
What does it mean to truly see another?
Emmanuel Levinas, the Jewish-French philosopher, offers a lens through which to revisit this verse, framing it as a call to ethical responsibility and mutual transformation.
Levinas teaches:
“The face opens the primordial discourse whose first word is an obligation.”
In our fractured society, where algorithms amplify division, we too often approach one another not as reflections of shared humanity but as adversaries. As labels.
Yet the face—the essence of another human being—demands our attention. It pulls us beyond our prejudices and ideologies into an encounter of ethical accountability. In Levinas’ terms, the reflection in water becomes not just a mirror but a portal to responsibility.
Wisdom’s proverbs, like Levinas philosophy, offer a blueprint for dialogue in a polarized world. It doesn’t deny differences but asks us to approach them with the radical humility to really see each other -- and to really listen.
Elsewhere Levinas wrote,
“The Other faces me and puts me in question… This responsibility is prior to dialogue.”
What if we led with questions instead of accusations? What if we embraced the vulnerability of allowing another’s heart to shape our own?
This is not a call to agree but to acknowledge.
As we reflect on the current political landscape, from the painful truths of ideologies turned toxic, survival strategies, identity politics, debates on democracy to climate negotiations, the proverb and Levinas remind us: progress is possible when we see ourselves in others.
To see a heart as it reflects back is not to diminish our own—it is to expand it.
What will your heart reflect? Face to face with each other’s fragile and precious humanity - will it be a face-off or an invitation to the facing of our shared responsibility to each other’s lives of hopefulness and grace?
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A few weeks ago there was a wildfire behind our home in Garrison, NY. Many incredible volunteer firefighters showed up in the middle of the night and stayed for 15 hours to ensure the fires were out and no new fires would be sparked.. My wife and I remarked that most of these volunteers might be on the other end of the political spectrum from us and we might not usually look into their faces and say thank you (as we did many times throughout the day) and yet here they were putting themselves out for us. I looked into their faces and saw their devotion to caring for a neighbor and did not see a "political enemy"!!!!
Yet there’s nothing which people find more difficult. For example, the number of people who, having agreed to a mediation process, still totally refuse to sit in the same room with the other party. And it is true that mediation is an emotionally vulnerable process. (That is partly why it works, in fact.)