40 weeks on average is what it takes to be born in human form. Maybe that’s where so many world cultures adopted 40 as the magic number of transformation, including one version of how long it took for the flood to destroy humanity, or the number of days it took Moses to change God’s mind about destroying the world yet again. Somehow in Jewish mythology that time period became the annual journey of returning to center, in an attempt to rewire mind and body, habits and hopes. Not clear when, but eventually, at least 2,000 years ago, some sage linked the story of Moses going up the mountain to plead for forgiveness with the 40 days that lead into the Day of Atonement. We are on day 23 of repeating his path of self-correction, described in todays chapter quite dramatically:
וָֽאֶתְנַפַּל֩ לִפְנֵ֨י יְהֹוָ֜ה כָּרִאשֹׁנָ֗ה אַרְבָּעִ֥ים יוֹם֙ וְאַרְבָּעִ֣ים לַ֔יְלָה לֶ֚חֶם לֹ֣א אָכַ֔לְתִּי וּמַ֖יִם לֹ֣א שָׁתִ֑יתִי עַ֤ל כׇּל־חַטַּאתְכֶם֙ אֲשֶׁ֣ר חֲטָאתֶ֔ם לַעֲשׂ֥וֹת הָרַ֛ע בְּעֵינֵ֥י יְהֹוָ֖ה לְהַכְעִיסֽוֹ׃
“I threw myself down before Adonai —eating no bread and drinking no water, forty days and forty nights, as I had done before—because of the great wrong you had committed, doing what displeased and vexed Adonai.”
Well, it worked. 40 days later, forgiven for the golden calf fiasco that undermined Adonai’s ultimate and elusive supremacy, Moses gets a second chance for all. With forgiveness comes the second set of tablets, to replace the ones he broke with rage. This later on becomes our recipe for new beginnings, so we can all deal with our anger management. along with other issues that could use repair, as illustrated by the 19th century condensed manual of Jewish law, the Kitzur Shulchan Arukh:
From the new moon of Elul until after Yom Kippur are 40 days of Divine favor. Even though throughout the entire year the Holy One accepts the repentance of those who return wholeheartedly, nevertheless, these days are the most suitable for repentance, because they are days of mercy. On the new moon - Rosh Chodesh of Elul, Moses went up Mount Sinai to receive the Second Tablets; he remained there for forty days, and came down on the tenth day of Tishrei when the atonement was completed. From then on these days have been designated as days of Divine favor and the tenth day of Tishrei as Yom Kippur..”
Repent is a religiously loaded word for ‘take charge of your life.’ This process of reflective change, so core to the Jewish life I lead, can be attempted and completed in just one day or so, while focusing and fasting, but like all great art and acts of transformation, a longer, fuller, process helps sustain a smoother ride and better impact. Maybe 40 days is just enough to break or make a habit or a frame of mind?
I’ve come to really cherish this annual tradition, these 40 days to look, honestly, in the mirror, review the year that was, the relationships that need mending, the blessings to be counted, the challenges ahead and the needed changes, for a better year, a better me, a better world. Where in our lives is there an opening for repair? The myth of Moses and the broken tablets is a key aspect of this constant call for repair; the fragments rattle on through our journey, a reminder that we are forever on this journey of putting together the pieces of self. Tomorrow’s chapter reminds us how to honor both broken and whole.
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This is a lovely post...the thoughtful and intimate blended with your lovely use of language. It occurs to me to say this:
Though a good deal of repentance seems to involve forms of atonement, apology, regret, and an honest inventory of what in the 12 step program is called "defects of character, something perhaps easily overlooked is repenting for failures adequately to express love and appreciation for people in our lives. At 81, my ongoing resolution is to leave nothing of that sort unsaid in my life, which does not mean over-doing it, for the expression of love requires the same tact as the expression of regret and the desire to make amends. But I want to pass through the wilderness with an opening heart so that the crossing can be as graceful and grateful as possible.
So grateful for these reflections that are leading us to find deeper meaning in the texts as we learn to read “between the lines,” Below the Bible Belt!