How do we rise from the weeping? Can we undo the past? If we can not change what happened can we at least gain a deeper understanding for our faults and failings, attain forgiveness, express remorse, repair as possible, resolve to not repeat and always improve? What will help us look ourselves and others we’ve hurt in the eye once more?
This is what repentance means. The Hebrew word is Teshuvh - response, return - and on the Jewish calendar the annual cycle of reviewing the past year towards repair and renewal of the new year that begins in two months starts again today - as we rise from the fast of the 9th of Av. From the brokenness we build again. In a bold noble gesture it seems there is room for forgiveness - for individuals or nations. And one of the legal loopholes to enable that is the claim that true repentance includes the admission that what we did was not only wrong - it was a mistake - an error in judgment - and that we have now changed our minds.
But not always.
This big precedent for gestures of communal forgiveness shows up in this chapter of the book of wilderness for the first time, perhaps in response to the terror of the previous chapter, and the weeping of the people whose fear of the unknown condemned them to die in the desert. The transgression which is the response to the report of the spies and the refusal to ascend to the promised land is so immense in the eyes of God and those who told this story that the people who left Egypt will pay for it by dying in the desert - but the next generation, born in the desert - will live on to enter the land. Is that some form of forgiveness?
Chapter 14 lists future laws for sacrificial rites and how to offer them in the future temple in the holy land. It’s a jarring and bizarre leap from the previous chapter of national calamity. Interpreters over time have imagined these laws being spoken about the parents' heads - directly to their children: This is for your future, kids. The list includes recipes and regulations for different offerings including those for wrong doing by mistake - either by the leaders, anybody, or the entire nation.
And this last clause made its way into the liturgy of the most solemn day on the Jewish calendar, recited publicly, loudly, as Yom Kippur, the most holy day of the holy days, begins:
וְנִסְלַ֗ח לְכׇל־עֲדַת֙ בְּנֵ֣י יִשְׂרָאֵ֔ל וְלַגֵּ֖ר הַגָּ֣ר בְּתוֹכָ֑ם כִּ֥י לְכׇל־הָעָ֖ם בִּשְׁגָגָֽה׃
“The whole Israelite community and the stranger residing among them shall be forgiven, for it happened to the entire people through error.” (Ba. 15:26)
Were these future laws of redemption any consolation to the weeping Hebrews? Knowing that their children will enter the land they were afraid to enter and will have rituals to deal with problematic past is maybe meaningful but the location in this moment in the story seems surprising.
We can’t undo the past but we can do what we can to begin again. The key word in this verse in the last one - ‘error’. By admitting that behavior was not ideal we release some or all of the shame and blame. This is why on the Day of Atonement we release our previous vows with the ritual of Koa Nidrei. Standing up as a community as we mouth these very words, which include all of us who come together, Jewish and human, to admit that we as a we said, promised, did things that we now regret and now ask for another chance. Does this gesture help?
Is forgiveness always possible? (Does Alex Jones deserve forgiveness for the despicable lies that he now says were an ‘error’?)
This chapter includes another anecdote of transgression and consequences, and then the surprising laws about wearing fringes on the corners of one’s garments to always remember the Exodus and the Divine. And then we’ll move on to more protests and problems. Perhaps, like those ritual fringes, we get to hold on to all directions, aware of all of the complexities, trying to center ourselves not in past or future but in what’s present, and what’s humble and honest, here and now. Welcome to the days of awe - the annual journey has begun. Lots to think about.
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Hi, Amichai,
It is also widely accepted that forgiveness is not only based on the admission of a "mistake" or even the "taking of responsibility", but the transgressor, in communicating to the injured party, must include and demonstrate a true understanding of the IMPACT on the other and have true remorse for the damage done. Otherwise, an admission is devoid of true empathic responsibility...warmly, matt
Hardest task. Not to dwell in and pummel oneself for the transgressions. Live a life so aware that you are so removed from repeating those past mistakes. Sometimes you can’t repair the damage. I had an experience recently where I made a mistake unknowingly so I apologized and the apology was graciously accepted. Now I know and I know I will never make that mistake again.