“Faith is not the clinging to a shrine but an endless pilgrimage of the heart.”
Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel
When life feels unbearable, how can we still trust the process and persist in hoping for, and working for better outcomes , rather than give up and give in to despair? A single Hebrew letter hints at the perennial tension between faith and faithlessness.
Job’s story, and this one verse from today’s chapter highlights this tension, raw and real, for each of us to reflect on, especially during these first days of a new year with its wishes, dire needs, and intentions.
In chapter 15 Job continues his eloquent and heartbreaking rant at his pious friends and punishing God.
הֵן יִקְטְלֵנִי (לא) [לוֹ] אֲיַחֵל אַךְ־דְּרָכַי אֶל־פָּנָיו אוֹכִיחַ׃
I may well be slain; I may have no hope;
Yet I will argue my case before God.
Job 13:15 (The Revised JPS Translation 2023)
But it’s only one possible translation of several possible transmissions and positions.
The Hebrew words "Hēn yiqtəlēnī Lo layahel contains a built in correction, already found in the oldest manuscripts of Job.
The Hebrew word lô can be translated as “to Him,” meaning a deep knowing, even amid suffering, of divine presence and connection to God. Alternatively, it can mean “no,” as in there is no God there, leaving Job utterly alone. It’s the choice of writing this word with the Hebrew letter Alef or the letter Vav. The ancient scribes and Masoretic traditions who edited the oldest versions of the written Bible left this ambiguity intact by leaving both options.
Is it Alef or Vav? The letter that is the first and starter, or the letter that indicated connection? Is it “No” or “Know”? Perhaps it is both.
The ambiguity of the Hebrew—and the varying translations it has inspired—reflects the complexity of human faith in the face of suffering. What does Job mean when he cries at - and out to God? What do we do?
Translators chose to read this ambiguity in different ways over the ages. The King James Bible has:
"Though He slay me, yet will I trust in Him."
But the Jewish Publication Society preferred:
"He may well slay me; I may have no hope."
This ambiguity lies at the heart of Job’s struggle and ours. Do we cling to hope in the face of suffering, or do we succumb to despair?
Heschel wrote about this verse:
“Job’s words, read either way, reflect a cry and a whisper, resistance and reach, doubt and yearning. In suffering, we embody this tension—and this is the essence of prayer.”
The k’ri u-k’tiv (the “read” versus “written” text) of Job 13:15 forces us to wrestle with uncertainty. Is it “no” or “know”?
The original text offers no definitive answer, leaving us to find meaning in the tension. And that perhaps is Job’s gift: an invitation to embrace ambiguity and carry our faith—or lack of it—with so much heartache all around us — on the endless pilgrimage of the heart.
Image: The Book of Job, William Blake
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What a compelling conundrum - and yet, if we choose, the "no" and the "know" can both liberate us to do courageous work for a better world because they each have their own version of Why Not? attached to them. If we so choose.