Old Samuel dies at the top of today’s chapter but his public funeral, though attended by many, is hardly big news by this point. The prophet who’s got two books named for him has walked off the stage of history by this time, leaving the two men he anointed as kings to fight it out.
The big story here is what follows - Abigail, a beautiful and wise woman who takes advantage of a situation to secure a role for herself as David’s wife. But there’s much more to this story - and two more brides in this dense chapter - but nothing that seems like anybody lived happily ever after.
This plot begins with David and his men practicing what we would call today ‘protection’ - Mafia talk for taking care of some local businesses in return for a fat cut of proceeds. When Naval, a certain wealthy local whose name “Wicked” literally means refuses to pay back and even insults David - the future king instructs his men to weapon up, at once.
Enter Abigail, Naval’s wife, who is told of what’s about to happen and takes matters into her own hands. She packs a caravan with goods and heads off to meet David on the road. Their meeting is cinematic: She bows at his feet, delivers an passionate plea, throws her husband under the bus and makes it fairly clear that she’s at David’s disposal.
David acknowledges her wisdom in showing up to avert his lethal plans, and responds with vulgar, barely veiled violence.
וְאוּלָ֗ם חַי־יְהֹוָה֙ אֱלֹהֵ֣י יִשְׂרָאֵ֔ל אֲשֶׁ֣ר מְנָעַ֔נִי מֵהָרַ֖ע אֹתָ֑ךְ כִּ֣י ׀ לוּלֵ֣י מִהַ֗רְתְּ וַתָּבֹאת֙ לִקְרָאתִ֔י כִּ֣י אִם־נוֹתַ֧ר לְנָבָ֛ל עַד־א֥וֹר הַבֹּ֖קֶר מַשְׁתִּ֥ין בְּקִֽיר׃
“For as sure as YHWH the God of Israel lives— who has kept me from harming you—had you not come quickly to meet me, not a single man who pisses on the wall of Naval’s line would have been left by daybreak.”
It’s unclear whether Abigail had sons by Naval, but clearly she had just been told of their fate had she not acted fast. The expression will repeat again, brutal reference to masculinity at its most basic human vulnerability perhaps?
David takes the bribes, and she runs home to settle things. The two will meet soon enough.
When Abigail goes home she finds her husband drunk, she waits till morning to tell him that she had saved his neck from David and Naval has a heart attack - ten days later he’s dead. The wealthy widow heads back to David, with five handmaidens following her and becomes his second wife.
What’s going on here? There are many speculations. Rev. Wilda Gafney goes a little deeper in Womanist Midrash
“Although often taught as a romantic tale in congregations and other contexts, there is no talk of love, and there are many indications of multiple motives, including mercenary ones, on and below the surface of this story...
It is chilling as a modern woman to hear the beloved David of Scripture prepare to blame Abigail and God for the lethal violence he would have inflicted upon her in mere moments if she had not the God-given sense to hurry to him with gifts and obeisance. As a womanist, I am reminded of the ways in which batterers blame their victims for their assaults, sometimes invoking religious justifications. Abigail is not a romantic. The valorization of Abigail’s buying her life and those of the servants and/or slaves on her husband’s estate with her self-abasement and his pilfered goods overlooks her vulnerability to David. The union of Abigail and David is no more romantic than those of battered women who do and say anything to calm their abusers in the hope of preventing today’s beating. Abigail’s generosity and submission is a last-ditch, desperate gamble masked in charm.”
Whatever Abigail’s real motives or choices may have been, it’s fascinating that her appearance will indeed be the first of several in which women - often married - become David’s interest, whether for lust, wealth, power or - love?
What of Michal? The chapter ends with news of her being married off to some guy named Palti - her father’s decision to dissociate David from the royal family no matter how much she loved the husband who did not seem to care for her. That story isn’t quite over yet either.
And there’s another wife showing up, of whom we know nothing of at all. As soon as David married Abigail, we’re told he also married Ahinoam of Jezreel. She only gets half a verse.
Gafney goes there:
“David and Abigail are riding off into what I had always hoped was more of a partnership between equals than one regularly finds in the sacred pages. She is clever and savvy and knows her way around a power-hungry man’s ego. He is violent and ambitious, self-centered, and really good at conquering, leading, and inspiring people. They each have their respective gifts of God. And then, before they arrive at their destination, David stops one verse later, seemingly on the side of the road, and picks up another woman. David’s honeymoon with Abigail has now turned into a threesome.
..From this point forward Abigail will appear only in the company of one or more of David’s other wives and women. Her story continues within the story of David’s next wife.”
The prophet is dead. Who will guide the moral hand of the nation?
One funeral and three weddings later, our strange story continues, heading towards a very loud thud.
Save the Date:
On Thursday, February 9th 2023, at 1pm EST, We’ll mark the end of the first book of Samuel - and the one-year anniversary of Below the Bible Belt with a special 60 min. monthly Live Zoom conversation with Rabbi Amichai - and you! Info and zoom link coming soon.
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Avigayil is one of several women in Tanach who outwit patriarchal power. But David's use of expressive language "wall pisser" (rather than the more disgusting modern MF) gets right down to the essence of manliness.