The Triple Cord is Strongest
Kohelet 4:9-12
It’s not just romantic gestures that promote partnership. There is some financial logic in teaming up with others, already demonstrated in the agrarian-economic model that the authors of Kohelet are familiar with. The famous quote that ‘two are better than one’ originate here with some interesting reasons that are all about utility and have little to do with love.
טוֹבִים הַשְּׁנַיִם מִן־הָאֶחָד אֲשֶׁר יֵשׁ־לָהֶם שָׂכָר טוֹב בַּעֲמָלָם׃ כִּי אִם־יִפֹּלוּ הָאֶחָד יָקִים אֶת־חֲבֵרוֹ וְאִילוֹ הָאֶחָד שֶׁיִּפּוֹל וְאֵין שֵׁנִי לַהֲקִימוֹ׃ גַּם אִם־יִשְׁכְּבוּ שְׁנַיִם וְחַם לָהֶם וּלְאֶחָד אֵיךְ יֵחָם׃ וְאִם־יִתְקְפוֹ הָאֶחָד הַשְּׁנַיִם יַעַמְדוּ נֶגְדּוֹ וְהַחוּט הַמְשֻׁלָּשׁ לֹא בִמְהֵרָה יִנָּתֵק׃
Two are better off than one, in that they have greater benefit from their earnings.
For should they fall, one can raise the other; but woe to someone who is alone and falls with no companion to assist!
Further, when two lie together they are warm; but how can someone who is alone get warm?
Also, if someone attacks, two can withstand it. A threefold cord is not readily broken!
Kohelet 4:9-12
The reasons for being with someone else through life make sense - when it’s cold, when it’s rough, it’s good to have another body with you.
But the end of verse 12 has puzzled readers for centuries. Where did the third come from? If two are better than one, why is three the ultimate expression of strength? And what may this shift mean for us today?
Rabbi Jonathan Sacks sees this verse as the evolution from a simple partnership to something greater:
“Friendship and marriage are among the greatest blessings of life, but they are incomplete without a third presence—the Divine, the transcendent, or the shared higher purpose that binds two people together.”
The power of three, in this religious view, isn’t just about adding another person but about infusing a relationship with meaning beyond the sum of its parts. It is about sacred connection, about creating something new that could not exist in isolation.
Martin Buber’s philosophy helps us go deeper, whether we believe in the classical notion of God or not. In I and Thou, Buber distinguishes between transactional relationships (I-It) and true encounters (I-Thou). A relationship is not just the meeting of two individuals but an invitation to a third presence—what Buber calls "the between," the sacred space that emerges when two people fully see and meet one another. The third is not a separate entity but the field of meaning, the dynamic interplay that transforms duality into a force greater than itself.
Interestingly, the "threefold cord" metaphor is not unique to Kohelet. In Sumerian texts and the Epic of Gilgamesh, we find similar proverbs emphasizing the strength of a triple-braided rope. In the ancient world, a single strand frayed easily, two were better, but three intertwined strands formed an unbreakable bond. The wisdom of Kohelet is embedded in this older tradition: a call to see strength not just in the individual or even in the pair but in the force that emerges from unity.
In a world that often idolizes the self-made individual, Kohelet reminds us that true strength is found in partnership, and even more, in purpose. Our relationships—friendships, communities, and movements—are not just about surviving but about creating something enduring, something more resilient than any one of us alone - larger then the sum of parts.
Today, as we navigate political divides, societal fractures, and personal struggles, this particular pearl of wisdom from Kohelet seems more urgent than ever: Who is your second? What is your third? How can we weave our lives into a more durable and lasting bond?
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I was the victim of an abuser who used Buber’s “I Thou “ premise to entice girls/women into relationships with him. He used his position as a rabbi to sanctify his actions. As I was told by another member of the clergy during this rabbi’s tenure “Rabbis often need to strengthen their ties to G-d” It took me 40 years to untangle these threads so that I might see myself not intertwined by three strings but rather two strings standing in the presence of a third which gives a blessing to their union.